Monday, January 02, 2012

The Man In My Life

Well, the little man in my life. My nephew Keagan today. He and his little curly mop top were ever so sweet today. He's the only guy that can make me smile from ear to ear right now and make me forget my issues and nuisances for a moment in time. If only everyone could love unconditionally and honestly as this little guy, life would be great. Xoxo Kman, Auntie Bella loves you.

Thursday, December 08, 2011


Well the last few months have not been ideal. I definitely think I can weather a good storm and have in the past. But this time around I feel just worn and beaten up.

Now before I continue I realize I have my sister and nephew in my life and a good job good friends. I just feel like I'm being persecuted a bit.

2 months ago a part of me died a bit when someone I implicitly trusted with my heart walked away from me after holding a part of it. That's been a 7 year struggle of emotion and affection for me. And I have to tell myself its over even though its not out of my system. It probably never honestly will be.

Shortly before then I had a near miss of a tragic accident on the freeway when my tire blew next to a truck on the interstate. I found out I fractured my foot last month, walking around in this crazy boot for several more weeks. Pain and discomfort has been a minimal, but it's been a nuisance. I had a 3 day hospital stay unexpectedly. It was determined I was ok, but scared while I was there and how I got there.

Family: well we know I'm still missing my Nana and Papa. It's been a year since my father and I spoke. He knows why... I surely don't. It feeds into my separation anxiety issues I have. But again no one seems to care, except my sister. While that frustration and confusion festers, I found out another family member is sick. Our family tight enough we are supporting each other.

So I just complained about all of this. I just spilled this out in hopes to feel even again at some point. I spilled these things because I was tired of them being "spilled" on me.

I just want something to go my way. But it's been a rough go at things. I'm tired and just want to be taken care of. No more "Marvin's Room" hand just "Take Care.

Despite all these things i duck and dodge when I can. I'm just tired. Some times Bella's spark is dim.

I need some extra light.


Monday, December 05, 2011

Bella Business in Cali

Well went to the Bay area last week on business for my job. I did some training and researched 2 DeVry University campuses. I was hoping not to fall in love with it. But the sunshine, people and job possibilities left my options open. Why not, don't have too much else going for me lol. But here s a peek at what I experienced.

Friday, November 25, 2011

I Got to See My Family Faves

I have had a sucking last few weeks. Nothing really had gone my way. Yesterday my family was in town and doing well. So I pulled out my cameras and took what I could.

This is what makes me happy anymore.

Love to all that support me.